On Cannabis Conversations: I Love You, You Are Perfect, Now Change
“Humility is not thinking less of yourself but as thinking of yourself less.” C.S. Lewis
Cannabis is one big happy family…or that’s what we tell each other.
Truth be told, we are a big, diverse community that loves, quarrels, shames and shuns each other – particularly these days.
Therein is the problem. These behaviors do not foster real alignment and action towards our common goals let alone professionalism and shared understanding.
Many say we need to be more empathetic. While important, empathy is insufficient in and of itself.
One of the big problems is the way we speak to each other online and in public forums. All too often, it is argumentative, personal, and ideology-driven. Hubris and poor comprehension skills reign supreme.
I am not religious or particularly spiritual, but I know a good principle when I see one.
Heeding a central Judaic ideal is one way we can all communicate better.
How the faith deals with conflict is best exemplified by the ancient religious debates between two prominent Rabbinical schools, that of Hillel and Shammai.
Judaism is sometimes called a “culture of argument.” However, not every argument is considered equal.
According to the Talmud, Jewish law tends to follow the view of the School of Rabbi Hillel rather than their opponents, the School of Rabbi Shammai:
“[The law is in accord with the SoH] because they were kindly and modest, because they studied not only their own rulings but also those of the SoH, and because they taught the words of the SofS before their own.” (Eiruvin 13b).
The Sages were drawing a key distinction between two kinds of conflict: argument for the sake of truth (i.e. Heaven) and argument for the sake of victory.
The SoH sought truth and mutual advancement, not victory, which is why they respected and listened to the views of their opponents – and imparted them before they taught their own traditions.
In an argument for the sake of truth, participants will be good listeners who use reason, objective data, and humility. They do not use ad hominem arguments, contempt, backstabbing or disingenuous appeals to emotion.
Clearly, there is more to this creed than my flyover. Nonetheless, reframing how we approach a conversation is a good first start.
The last word goes to the esteemed Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, the former Chief Rabbi of the British Commonwealth:
“Argument for the sake of Heaven” is one of Judaism’s noblest ideals – conflict resolution by honoring both sides and employing humility in the pursuit of truth.”…the “Divine Presence is to be found not in this voice as against that, but in the totality of the conversation.”
Our discourse needs to get better. Let’s start by embracing humility. We can do this.
#culture #communications #socialmedia #communicating